5 Steps for Choosing Love Over Fear

by Susan Tate

Make your decisions based on love, not fear.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

I just finished reading, The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter and Miracles, by cellular biologist, Bruce Lipton. One of his statements caused me to laugh and then gasp. On page 151 he wrote, “The simple truth is, when you’re frightened you’re dumber.” Now I am not one to label someone’s intelligence, but after reading his biological explanation of how our cells respond so unfavorably to a steady diet of fear, I believe I make healthier choices when choosing love rather than fear.

Dr. Lipton’s statement doesn’t refer to the instant rush of adrenaline or cortisol that floods our bloodstream when the “fight or flight” response kicks into gear as our body or mind perceives a threat. This response is actually a built-in source of genetic wisdom that supports our quick reactions and decision-making that will hopefully keep us safe. In these instances, fear is a good thing, and the chemical reactions in the body are designed to support us in making smarter decisions.

Instead, Lipton’s statement refers to a steady diet of fight/flight, over-activated by a build-up of excessive stress. That constant drain actually challenges our decision-making process and can lead to choices that aren’t very smart. Are you dealing with day-to-day worrying and chronic stressful thinking that eventually saturates your rational mind with a daily dose of fear?

When we make decisions based on love, rather than fear, our choices will be healthier, as well as smarter. When I view this concept through a political lens, it makes me long for leaders who draw from the energy of love rather than fear. When I tune in to my business decisions, I want to be sure I am making grounded, intelligent and loving choices for the good of all involved. In relationships, I want to speak from the chambers of my heart where I know love and truth reside. In financial decision-making, I want to choose with intelligence and without the six-o’clock news scaring me with a constant forecast of economic gloom and doom. What we focus on expands—and if we focus on the fear of higher gas prices rather than smarter energy choices, guess what we get?

Do you have a steady hum of fear running through your mind? How would it feel to shift your fearful thinking to “love-full” thinking? When making a difficult decision, you might ask yourself, “What would love do now?” Here are a few action steps aimed at directing your thinking more toward love.

The 5 Steps

1. Lovingly observe when you enter the emotional realm of fearful thinking. You might say to yourself, “Ah, this is an opportunity for me to choose either fear or love. I choose love.”
   
   
2. Take three deep, calming breaths when you notice stressful, physical sensations in your gut, the pit in your stomach, your rapidly beating heart or the tightness in your neck or back.
   
   
3. Practice mindfulness meditation. Jon Kabat-Zinn is my favorite teacher of mindfulness. You can do a Web search for books, CDs and even YouTube resources.
   
   
4. Move your body! Walk, run, swim, dance, bike, do Nia or yoga. Physical exercise produces endorphins (providing a morphine-like high) right from your body’s own personal pharmacy.
   
   
5. Pray, meditate, chant or sing. Marianne Williamson wisely suggests that we place our fears and concerns “on the altar to be altered.” Whatever you call God or the Divine, invoke that sacred name out loud or in your mind. Notice and give gratitude when sacred peace envelops you.

Written by Susan Tate