Thoughts on turning 60, or . . . things I’ve learned along the way

by Susan Tate

I get to turn 60 on December 10 and I’ve been looking forward to it all year! This birthday has stimulated more contemplative anticipation than any other birthday I can remember.

I’ve spent the last several weeks pouring over old journals. It feels good to report that I have gained much from my life experiences, though at times I appeared to be a slow learner! My journal entries indicate I was able to identify both the depths of the pain and the heights of the love that were present through a series of intense life events (deaths, divorce, illness) from about 1995 through 2005. It doesn’t seem essential to recount the details of that poignant passage in my life here. (Wait for the autobiography I plan to write when I’m 90!)

What I'd like to share is, I believe I faced that time of pain and grief by putting it right in front of me and by looking straight into its dark eyes. I felt it, I acknowledged it and then released it; it was sometimes a dark, scary and depressed time. I have done my forgiveness work (of myself and others), honored the lives of family members who died, and most importantly, kept the intensity of love that was laced through it all. But more about love in a bit . . .

I love that I get to call myself a “sexagenarian.” (Sex·a·ge·nar·i·an (sĕk'sə-jə-nâr'ē-ən) n. A person who is 60 years old or between the ages of 60 and 70.) I don’t love that my health insurance premium just increased by 25% and my deductible increased too. What an assumption those insurance companies have made! I’m in better shape and health than I was in my 40’s!

I have become increasingly sensitive to words that describe older people. The word “elderly” has never been one I have liked. “Elderly” often conjures up pictures of frail and feeble people who are awaiting their final exit. I tend to use the word “elder” since it connotes respect for the wisdom of someone who has been richly seasoned by life.

Certain phases look different to me now, like “Senior Centers”. Hmm, I think I’d like to change that name to “Vitality Centers”.

And “anti-aging” . . . that term really cracks me up. I am not anti-aging. I am FOR aging!!! I want to age. If I’m lucky, I GET to age! And I plan to do it with grace, guts, class and style.

Thirteen years ago I found out I was going to be a grandmother. People asked me (often in a low whisper) “How does that make you feel? Are you going to mind being called Grandma?" I was ecstatic! I wanted a t-shirt with the words “I am a grandmother” printed on the front AND the back! How could I not be wildly crazy about my son planting the seeds of the next generation and becoming a father? How could I not be amazed when I was in the birthing center and actually able to see my grandson enter this world? I LOVE being a grandmother!

Going a bit deeper into my thoughts of turning 60, I've become aware that I've lived more years of my life than I have remaining. I’m the eternal optimist but I’m pretty sure I have more birthdays behind me than ahead of me. It feels like I’m heading toward the final act of a three-act play. Although as I write that thought, I might re-create it into a five-act play and be entering Act IV! And for the most part, I’m at peace with that. I do not fear death, although I’m not excited about the process of suffering or pain or a prolonged dying process. My intention is to die peacefully in my sleep at the age of 102. And, I hold the option to renegotiate at that point if I want to hang out here a bit longer.

So what have I learned throughout these six decades on Planet Earth? I was originally going to call this article, “Sixty things I’ve learned in 60 years” but that seemed too long! Plus, I wrote a book with much of that wisdom in it so please read that work if you haven’t already. (A quick and proud advertisement for my fourth book, Wellness Wisdom: 31 Ways to Nourish Your Mind, Body & Spirit!)

These are the top three things I want to share with you at age 60. Feel free to use them in generous amounts, as their gifts are endless at any age. They sustain me.

1. KNOW GOD, or SPIRIT, or whatever you call the Divine. Don’t just believe; take it a step farther into KNOWING. I am wildly in love with God and I have seen and experienced so many things that have led to this knowing. It is my intent to continue to see God in every person and every creation.

2. FORGIVE. Forgive others and then do it again. Forgive yourself and then do it again. One of my favorite quotes on this topic is: “Un-forgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Why not drink in the soothing, healing benefits of forgiveness instead?

3. LOVE. This is the absolute best thing I have learned in my six decades. Love yourself, love your family, love God, love each other, love those who don’t think (or vote) like you, love your friends and please love all the children on this earth. When it’s hard to love, ask, “What would love do now?” I love love.

I want to be the best me I can be for the next 40 or so years of my life. How about you? What lessons of life are coming your way today? Would knowing God, practicing forgiveness or splashing love be something that could make your day better?

Written by Susan Tate